We Will Rock You, Malfoy
by SnapeMcGonagall
Summary: A Parody of Queen's "We Will Rock You", Harry and Malfoy get into a fight.. but it isn't the usual brawling! PG for some blood and mild violence. 1st story!! R/R, please!!


Harry rubbed the soreness that was his cheek. He watched through near-watering eyes at a jeering Malfoy. Gryffindors and Slytherins flooded the hallway of the fight, colors lightly flecked with the blue and yellow of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. A few teachers tried to squeeze into the scene, but the audience was so tightly packed that it was near impossible. Plenty of prefects also attempted to break in before being beaten back by angry friends of the brawlers. All that was left to do, the grand finale..  
  
"Think you've had enough, Potter?" Malfoy's nose bled past his lip. "I'll always win."  
  
"That how you see it Malfoy.. how funny," Harry let out a shrill excuse for a laugh. It was perfect!! People looked around nervously. Had THE Harry Potter gone.. mad? "Funny! ... I think not."  
  
"Harry!"  
  
"Stay out of this, Ron..."  
  
"But, the teachers!!"  
  
"Hermione, trust me."  
  
Two teachers, a very angry Snape and an equally enlightened McGonagall, had nearly breached the lines when the steady lights of the torches flared suddenly and snuffed out as quickly as one would have hoped for an escape.. but no escape came. Instead...  
  
vvvvvvvvvvvv  
  
(A single torch flickers and returns to life.. just behind Harry, of course. Several girls scream as Harry advances on Malfoy, but not to punch or kick..)  
  
Harry: Buddy you're a boy make a wrong friend  
Strayin' off the street gonna be a mistake some day   
I got mud on yo' face   
Was not misplaced  
Kickin' up dust all over the place   
Singin' ...  
  
  
(By this time several people have started stamping and clapping along.. of the Gryffindors anyway. Snape and McGonagall are forced yet again back into the crowd, but not before several vials of potions are gotten off the Potions Professor's person, all strategically thrown to Harry. McGonagall's wand slips and makes a spare vial explode. Not a bad idea..)  
  
  
Gryffindor Students: (Clapping and stamping and singing and restraining enraged Slytherins)  
We will we will rock you   
We will we will rock you  
  
  
(Malfoy is fuming now, with quite a pink face. Harry ignores, tossing a blue colored vial in the air, watching it as it smashes down on the ground. Several vines now grow from the infected floor and wrap around Malfoy's ankles)  
  
  
(Harry looks at Hermione and she nods. She steps up to Harry's right side, but what kind of backup can this be? Harry hands her the vials.)  
  
  
Hermione: (catching gasps from the teachers, especially Snape as she starts hurling the potions down)  
Buddy you're a young man hard man (Pink vial: fires lick up and die down)  
Braggin' in the school about the pure-blood's way (Yellow vial: laughter from it echoes)  
Now that blood's on yo' face (Purple vial: acid runs around, eating away vines)  
You big disgrace (Hermione recognises and drinks black vial... ahh)  
Wavin' your banner all over the place   
  
  
  
All Students (Excluding Slytherin):  
We will we will rock you  
(Hermione only) Singin'!! (Students rejoin)  
We will we will rock you  
  
  
(Hermione returns to crowd, pushing Ron, with supernatural strength brought by the potion, out by Harry. Ron swallows, then..)  
  
  
Ron: (Waves his wand, transfiguring a statue into a podium. He jumps not up to, but on top of it)  
Buddy bein' rich man poor man   
Money in your heart won't buy you true friends some day   
The word mud's on your face   
You big disgrace   
Somebody better put you back into your place   
  
  
(Harry watches at the success this is. Riots are springing up around Malfoy and Ron climbs down to sing with Harry.)  
  
  
All Students (Even some Slytherins):  
'We will we will rock you'   
(Ron and Harry) Singin!! (Students rejoin)  
'We will we will rock you'   
(To people's surprise, Neville) Everybody!!! (ALL students rejoin after being frightened by Neville)  
'We will we will rock you'   
'We will we will rock you'   
(Snape, angrily) Alright!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Students scream, of course)  
  
vvvvvvvvvvvv  
  
Harry gasped as the students dispersed. He hadn't had the chance to-  
  
"Run!!" Ron screamed, seizing Harry's sleeve and tailing Hermione, who was already on her way to Gryffindor tower. No such luck; Snape overtook them easily, having longer legs and a rage surpassing that of pitbull being neutered.  
  
The threesome moaned, Harry and Hermione being tugged along to the headmaster's office by the ears, and Ron in a headlock.  
  
"Severus.." Professor McGonagall!!  
  
"Help!" Harry squeaked.  
  
"..Make sure to punish them adequately."  
  
"Dang it!!" Harry sighed as the troupe was brought to Dumbledore's residence.  
  
  
Fini, baby!! 


End file.
